Cabin Fever

I wish I could say that I have some fabulous ideas for preventing cabin fever; a list of great places to go and things to do to get out when the snow is melting and it looks sunny but it's still too cold for the wee ones. But I don't. And that's why I'm suffering from it, Cabin Fever.

James is as busy as ever at school; starting his thesis, taking on clients and keeping up with classes and homework. He just has so much going on right now! I never quite understand why it's so hard for me when he's not home much. He's my husband and my best friend but come on, many of the women in my neighborhood are in the same boat. Do they struggle like I struggle? Maybe.
When James isn't home the whole day, Edin is different. He doesn't sleep as well at nap time. He never eats as much when I feed him. At night when he goes to bed without James home he fights it so hard. And his tantrums!! Double fold, worse! It's rough!
And to make it worse, the kids and I have had a cold. I've been worried to take them to someone else's house because I didn't want them to get everyone sick. So on top of being stuck at home taking care of the kids by myself, I'm sick taking care of the sick kids. Sigh. I can't wait till spring.
The past few days have been sunny AND warm so we've spent a lot of time outside. But even as I'm walking around with them I still feel cabin fever. I love being outside with the kids but it' still pretty wet so we're pretty limited in our outdoor activities. My favorite thing to do it sit on the lawn with a blanket and read while Edin plays. But the lawn is still too wet and that means that I'm still the entertainment. I can't wait until Lizzie can roam free and learn to walk outside.
But even though we've been outside, it's not enough. Edin HATES coming inside so I dread it. Tonight we walked and walked and walked around the court because I knew it would be a fight going in. And truthfully I was trying to kill time until I could put them in bed. Man, I was tired!
Back to my original point. I'm not the normal kind of tired. I got up with the kids, I took care of them all day. We did laundry, went to a book fair at the library, went to Target for groceries, took naps, cleaned up the house a little (a very little), played outside for a couple of hours. All of which makes a person physically tired (including naps because if I'm napping I'm still stressed they'll wake up and if I'm not napping I'm probably doing things around the house.) But the physical fatigue wasn't the worst part. It's the emotional fatigue of being alone with the kids all day. I might even phrase it as feeling trapped. I can't ask for help because I don't want someone else to get sick. But I can't take a break because it doesn't exist when they are awake.
So after expressing these feelings about my emotional fatigue I realize what it is I need: Girl's night. I feel like I always need this. And perhaps it's true. Being a mother is a lot of work. And you know what? I don't have to feel guilty for needing a break. I love my kids so much. When they are asleep I miss them. But I'm still a woman, a wife, and an individual. I still have needs. It's hard to put my own needs on hold to cater to everyone else. Sometimes it feels like that's the hardest part. At the end of the day, I just want to do whatever I want. And I think it's okay to feel like that. Sometimes I need to reconnect with other women to remember that.
I have to say Curious George is my new hero. It was the only thing that calmed Edin down after a 20 minute hysteria from coming inside. Aah aah, you rock. (Monkey sound, and the name given to George by Edin.)